A Space Inside Myself

A couple of weeks ago the dean invited some students to talk with her about the department and where things ought to be heading. It was a great time to get to know the dean and her plans for the department. Yet one thing kept creeping back in, the inability to actually host a true dialogue. Honest listening does not happen, even in a theology department. I was struck by this interview where Jacob Needleman talks about the failure of contemporary public space to accommodate any discussion let alone one on religious lines

And people cannot listen to each other. When we’re talking, you and I, mostly when I’m talking and trying to listen to someone I maybe hear—if I’m lucky—one-third of what they say. Mostly I hear my own thoughts, and when I try to write down what they’ve said I mix it with my own thoughts. But there is a discipline which one can obtain. It’s not that hard. It’s to step back from one’s own opinions, make a space in myself and let you in. I don’t have to agree with you but I have to let you in, so that you are heard. I hear you. And you let me in. And that way something very beautiful can appear; I can still disagree completely with you, but I don’t deny your humanity. found here

This is something I have failed to accomplish time and time again. The more and more it happens it has become easier to recognize and correct. You have to be looking for it of course, but it can be done. We all need to learn to listen and to give everyone the humanity they already possess. This is the only way we are going to learn anything.